Knockin' on Heaven's Door
by KitsuneRei02
Summary: Duo tests his friendship with Heero. Things end up better than he'd ever hoped. YAOI.


**Disclaimer:** Gundam Wing belongs to people who aren't me. I just use 'em for fun.

**Warnings:** Language, suggestive

**Notes:** I have no clue where the title came from. It's just a phrase I've heard somewhere. I think it's the title of a song or something. If anyone knows, tell me.

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**Knockin' on Heaven's Door**

So I walked into his house without knocking. It was the first time I'd ever done it, and in my opinion, I was taking a big, iffy step in our relationship. I was worried that he'd bite my head off for it. Maybe he'd yell at me, or just shrug and tell me not to do it again. I mean, you don't walk unannounced into just _anybody's_ house. A close family member, a best friend, a lover you're serious about—it has to be someone who, between the two of you, shares a large amount of affection and trust.

Do you understand why I'm so nervous about entering Heero Yuy's home without knocking now?

If you've never met Heero, you probably don't. He's from the L1 colony cluster, of Japanese decent, age twenty one, and knows how to kill a person one hundred and seven ways with his bare hands. He's a trained assassin from as early as he can remember, and trained even further to be what some would call 'the perfect soldier'. He lives alone, has only a handful of friends, and many admirers that he tends to ignore. He's never had any romantic relationships. The closest he came to that was a near-kiss with the previous Queen of the World, and that hadn't lasted. He preferred Shakespeare over Poe, but read more Poe than Shakespeare. He drank his coffee straight from the pot, and had corn flakes for breakfast. His favorites movies were few and far in between.

How about now? Do you understand _now_? I hope so. I _hope_ he doesn't kill me, or reject my belief that maybe, just _maybe_, we were as close as I thought we were. Okay, so we fought two wars together, saved each other's asses more times than I can count, were partners in the Preventers for three years, and regularly spent our free time together. We had those meaningful conversations—the ones where you explained some of your worst fears and faraway dreams, spilled your nightmares, and offered a comforting word or two. We're what one would consider close, right? Sometimes my doubt clouds my vision.

He intrigued me. He confused me. He mesmerized me. He shocked the hell outta me by popping his head out of the kitchen and asking me to get his mail instead of screaming at me for what I'd just done.

Baffled, I stepped back out the door, grabbed the pile of papers from his mailbox, and went back inside. I found him in the kitchen again. He was flipping an omelet, an odd lunch meal, but something he knew I enjoyed. Either he knew I was coming, or he'd learned to like them. I announced his mail to be bills, bills, junk, more bills, and a letter from Quatre. He smiled and had me put them on the counter out of harm's way. Then I set the table. At my tiny apartment, we ate with paper plates at the coffee table, watching whatever brain melting stuff happened to be on. At his house, we ate in the dining room with real plates and everything. We were different in so many ways it was hard to believe he'd just accepted my offer at friendship, in the category of 'best', just like that.

It didn't take him long to ask what I was grinning like a loon for.

"Nothin', just had a good day today," I answered, plopping my happy rear in a chair. I eyed my omelet hungrily. Damn, that thing looked good.

He raised an eyebrow. "And that's reason for you to dance around my kitchen, looking for all the world like a madman?" He motioned toward the knife I cut my omelet with. "Put the knife down, Duo. I fear for my well being."

I laughed, and popped the first delicious bite into my mouth. "Be happy I don't have a bomb. Explosives are the best."

Heero chewed thoughtfully on his own ham and cheese omelet. "Does your mood have anything to do with Hilde?"

I rolled my eyes. "I saw her this morning, yes, but it has nothing to do with my mood." He believed I was in love with Hilde for some unknown reason. We'd had one of those 'meaningful conversations' in which he had me confessing that I was in love with someone to the point of insanity. I wouldn't tell him who, though, and he'd assumed it was Hilde. He hadn't let it drop, and had been trying to get me to go out with her.

I think I sighed. If only he knew.

"Duo?" He questioned. "I know you're probably tired of me pushing, but you can't really expect anything to happen between the two of you if you don't do something."

"So says the man who's been single his entire life," I grumbled back. Where had that joy I had gone off to? Must be on a coffee break. I hope it comes back soon.

"Duo, you should always—"

I finished for him. "Act on your emotions. I know, Heero, but some things aren't that easy." My omelet wasn't looking as good as if had a few minutes ago. Didn't taste so good, either.

"You won't know until you try, Duo." He was urging me again, and his open wishes for my happiness were driving me crazy. Just how much did he care? Did he _know_ how much it hurt that he kept urging me to get with Hilde? I have nothin' against Hilde, the girl's great, but I'm not in love with her. She's more like a sister. Heero's the one I wanna be with. If he really cared, he wouldn't be so pushy, would he? Hell, if he cared the way I wanted him to, _he'd_ be going out with me!

I sighed again, and tried to calm down. "That's the problem. I can't try because I'm afraid of the results." I downed the soda he'd set in front of me. I hated these conversations, and they kept coming up more and more often. It was really starting to annoy me—not what he'd said so far, but the fact that I knew he would keep it up and where this would lead. It was turning my day sour already.

"Why? You know Hilde cares for you. She fought a war with you. Risked her life for you. If she doesn't return your feelings, then I'm a blind man," Heero stated.

"Then you're a damn blind man! I'm not in love with Hilde, and she sure as hell doesn't love me!" I stood and slammed my fists onto the table. I was frustrated for reasons that I personally thought even a _blind_ man could see, but apparently not. "Hilde's my friend, first and foremost! The person I love… is apparently fuckin' oblivious!" I couldn't help it. I stomped out of his house, and even slammed the door. I was angry at him for ruining my good mood, for being persistent, and, most of all, for being such a moron.

Maybe I should've thrown more fits as a child. I was too old for this sort of thing.

He called after me, but I ignored him. He called my cell phone until I turned it off. When I got home, I had nine new messages on my answering machine, seven of which were from him. I ignored them, too, and took a rather violent shower. I think I scrubbed off an entire layer of skin by the time I got out. It was only then that I sat down and listened to my messages.

Quatre's was first. "Duo? This is Quatre. I sent out invitations to a party Relena and I are having. Yours was sent back to me because of some error made in its sending. Call me for the details. I'm looking forward to hearing from you."

The next six were jumbled, rushed, and panicked. All were apologies from Heero, and I could barely understand them. It was rare for him to be so frantic, I mused, as my anger slowly dissipated. Of course, it wasn't everyday that I blew up at him—or anybody—like that. It must've really surprised him. Hell, it surprised _me_, but enough was enough. Hopefully, he at least got the point.

The next was from Wufei, concerning Heero. "Heero just called me and asked me what to do to make up for pissing you off. Are things alright on your end? Give me a call if you need anything."

And then one last, calmer, but more resigned, apology from Heero.

I sighed, and picked up the phone. Got the details for Quatre's party. Told Wufei not to worry. Had issues dialing Heero's number.

About thirty minutes later, I grabbed my keys and slipped on my jacket. If I couldn't call him, I would go see him in person. Things are better that way, anyway. I hated getting in fights with any of the guys. It always made me feel like such an asshole. At least with Hilde, I got what I deserved. She always gave what she got, and we ended up fine in the end. With the guys, well… I was usually the one throwing around the harsh words, and stomping away. Trowa took it all in stride and swore he deserved being yelled at for whatever it was he did. Quatre apologized and did his best to comfort me when I returned to him, guilty and sad. Wufei usually just let me start a fist fight, and after it was over, and I saw the damage I'd done, he'd simply say that it was a good way to relieve stress. Heero, on the other hand, was the worst. He'd apologize with almost desperation, as if he couldn't stand the fact that I was angry with him, and I'd go crawling back to him, like a scolded puppy, and we'd apologize. The next few days would be awkward between us, and it'd seem like forever until we were back to normal.

Not that I make a habit out of fighting with my buddies. It's a pretty rare occurrence, but it doesn't make me feel any better when it _does_ happen.

I was at his front door, making it twice in the same day. I knocked this time.

It was pretty obvious that he wasn't expecting me. When he opened the door, his eyes were wide and his jaw dropped. His state slapped me in the face with guilt. He looked like crap. His hair was ten times worse than usual, his clothes were rumpled, and his eyes were bloodshot. He had been crying? Heero? No, it couldn't be. He probably just got some soap in them while washing the dishes or something.

My plan of action hadn't been clear from the start. I'd go to Heero and apologize. That'd been the extent of it. Instead, I led him back inside and sat him down on the couch. When he tried speaking, I placed a finger to my lips in the universal 'be quiet' gesture, and went into the kitchen. I came back a while later with two mugs of hot chocolate. During my absence, he'd apparently tried to gather himself back together, because he wasn't as disheveled as before. I handed him a mug and sat next to him.

"What're you doing here?" He asked.

"Making sure a few harsh words don't kill you." I replied. "And… apologizing." I took a sip of my drink and set the mug on the coffee table. "I'm sorry, Heero. I shouldn't have gotten angry at you like that. You weren't even being as pushy as usual, I was just… I don't know. Things haven't been going very well for me lately, not when it comes to… that person."

Heero frowned. "Duo, you have nothing to apologize for. It's my fault for insisting that you do something about your feelings toward Hilde—"

"It'd really help if you'd stop assuming that I'm _madly _in love with _Hilde_," I muttered bitterly.

Heero paused before continuing. "I'm sorry. It's just that I'd nearly convinced myself that you'd fallen for her. I'll not bring her up again."

I sighed and leaned back into the cushions. "It's okay." I held out my hand. "Forgiven?"

Heero took it in his and we shook. "And forgotten."

I smiled. "Good." I probably held onto Heero's hand a bit longer than I should've, but Heero didn't seem to mind. Maybe that was a sign. Wherever the idea that was lodged in my brain right now had come from, I didn't know, and I wasn't sure if I was going to act on it, but my body seemed to be combating my brain on that one. My fear of rejection was being screamed at my body by my brain, but my body simply overrode its orders. Odd, huh? Maybe my body knew how things would work out. It was slowly convincing my brain that, yes, this was the right path to take.

"Hey, Heero?" I spoke up after several long moments of companionable silence.

"Hm?" He muttered, apparently having been lost in his thoughts.

"Do you really want to know who I fell for?" I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.

He looked at me, eyes wide with disbelief. "After all this, you're actually going to_ tell _me, just like that?"

I nodded. "Only if you want me to, but you'd better act quickly. This whim may fade any moment now."

"Tell me." His expression told me just how serious he was taking this. It made me wonder. Maybe there was reason to hope.

I looked up at the ceiling. "First off, it's a 'he', not a 'she'." I peeked at him from the corner of my eye to gage his reaction. I found nothing but him paying close attention to my words. My eyes flicked back to the ceiling. "He's my age, though I'm not sure when his birthday is. I've known him for six years now. We met and worked together during the war…"

"And?" Heero sounded nervous.

"I've kept pretty close tabs on him. I see him at the office regularly." I swallowed. This was getting harder and harder to say. "He's got brown hair, but it's a darker shade than mine, and short."

Heero's eyes were hooked on me, I could feel them. By my description, I'd narrowed it down to two people Heero knew of: himself and Trowa.

"His blue eyes are the most beautiful things I've ever had the pleasure of laying mine on," I finished my description and avoided looking at Heero. The mug on the coffee table was looking really interesting at the moment.

"And his name?" Heero was chewing on his bottom lip, and looking intently at me with a spark of… hope? Or was that just _me_ getting hopeful? God, I hope not.

I finally turned to face him. "His name is Heero Yuy."

We sat there, staring at each other, each holding our breath. I don't know how long we were like that. He slowly emptied his lungs, and smile spread across his face.

"I know a man by that name," Heero ventured casually, as if I'd not just dumped all the pieces of my heart out in front of him. "And wouldn't you know? He's had a crush on a man called Duo for the longest time. Relena swears he's in love, and sometimes he thinks he is, too." Heero leaned toward me. "Are you that Duo? Because I think he might love you, too."

I think he'd planned on saying something else, but I lunged forward and pressed his lips to mine. We could talk later, damn it, _after_ I'd fulfilled every damn fantasy I'd ever had. During that night, we even got to some of his before we were too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

Yeah, I know it was a bit fast, but we both knew what we wanted. Later, we'd learned that we'd kept from telling each other the truth because we feared rejection. Later, we'd laugh about how foolish we'd been. Later, we'd lay in bed talking for hours about all that we'd kept inside. Later, we'd stop knocking on each other's doors.


End file.
